In this episode:
In this episode of The Fearless Females Podcast your host Tegan Mathews interviews Ria Nicholls who shares:
- How uncovering childhood abuse thirty-four years later healed her of disease
- Learning how to make choices for herself rather than against
- The turning point when she thought she didn’t have any choices
- Understanding that it wasn’t her fault
Tegan's Take Aways:
- There is always another choice - when you are feeling stuck and think there isn’t, ask for help to find it
- Make yourself your number one priority
- Knowing when it’s got nothing to do with you is important when it comes to combatting fear and guilt
- Today is a new moment – a fresh start
- It didn’t happen to you because you are unlovable, it happened to you to make you the most lovable
About Ria Nicholls
Ria Nicholls had a life changing realisation at the beginning of 2014 when she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. This was the final turning point, after a life of addictions, anxiety, abuse and PTSD among many others.
She then chose to spend time at a retreat where she discovered she had been abused as a child. From this realisation the world lifted from her shoulders and over the next few weeks she lost 20 kilo's of excess weight, her Crohns disappeared and she no longer needed glasses.
Ria now shares her story in the hope of helping others to realise they need to put themselves first and there is always another choice.
Contact Ria Nicholls
A Gift for Listeners
Download Tegan’s book – Facing Fears – finding the courage to reveal the real you. Read her confronting story of overcoming years of abuse and use the practical exercises in each chapter to overcome your own fears
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Show Notes: Episode 014: Fear and disease - Ria Nicholls
Ria Nicholls’ Fearless Story
- I could talk about the verbal abuse from my dad which I believe created the disease within me because it just kept on going
- Or the sexual abuse which didn’t come up for thirty-four years
- Probably the scariest time was when I realised that all of my relationships with males, they all started with one, going right back to when I was three years old
- I did a hypnosis therapy which if I had known I probably would have bawked at the idea
- But it was done in a very safe environment and I felt safe
- They asked me, “Where do you find the most sorrow”
- And I found it was when I came into contact with male entities where they would yell and it would send me inside myself
- It happened with my partner, my brother and my ex-husband
- Then they took me to a place where it first began
- Just realising where it had all started was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders and I could finally breathe for the first time in thirty four years
- It was the most amazing thing for me to do
- yes, I had to go back and re-live it
- but it doesn’t bother me any more
- I can now listen to a male yell and scream and know it’s got nothing to do with me anymore
What were the benefits of this experience?
- The benefits health wise was that I didn’t have any Crohns after that because that’s where I had been holding my fear
- I lost twenty kilos in twelve weeks
- I had no CN1 cells in my pap smears anymore
- And I finally want to see the world so I no longer have any need for prescription glasses either
- So when you delve into your stuff everything becomes a possibility
- Fear can be such a powerful force and as you said, once you cleared the cause you had no more of these health issues any more
- The thing is, when you are trying to block everything and hide stuff for so many years you don’t want to see the beauty in the world because it was so chaotic
- Once that chaos was out of my body and the fear was gone that had started it I now look at the world with beauty and I see it now and know that I am part of it
A highlight moment:
- The highlight for me in my life has been turning my life around
- I’ve had a huge transformation in the last few years mentally, physically and spiritually
- When I realised there was an alternative to how I was living my life and I had never come across it before
- Maybe someone had told me before and I just wasn’t ready for the information
- Or I was just at that pivotal moment when it just seemed to click
- Learning that there is always another way to life
- Just to know that you have a choice, there is another option whereas previously you may have felt that there wasn’t
How are you fearless these days?
- Recently I still get wobbly knees but now I embrace the situation and say to myself, “It’s ok I can come through this and get to the other side”
- And that’s how I look at those types of things now
- When you go through something that scares you, once you are through it you know you have the ability to do that
- You still feel fear but you know you can push through and there’s another side to it
How did you face your fears?
- Up until a couple of years ago I didn’t think I was afraid
- I was just a very angry person but then I had a diagnosis of health that I wasn’t willing to take on for myself
- I didn’t want to have Crones
- At the same time my partner had a health issue that was very risky
- I got to crossroads in my life
- I thought I had three choices
- One was to jump in a cab and disappear around Australia
- Two was to jump into a padded cell and be drugged up which wasn’t what I wanted and was my last alternative
- Third was to find someone who could help me with my depression which is what the doctors had told me I had
- So I chose the third and booked into a retreat where I cried for the first five days but I knew I had to do what they were telling me to do
- And that changed my life
- Making that choice for myself and doing the work for myself regardless of how scary it was for me at the time
- It sounds like you chose to put you first
- For the first time, but not the last
- It sounds like you surrendered to letting people help you
- And to showing me another way
How do you feel about that experience now?
- I guess the yucky part was the delving into me and starting to see the real truth behind everything that had happened in my life up until that point
- Realising that the things that happened to me didn’t happen because I was wrong, or horrid or unlovable
- They happened to make me the most lovable person in the world
- It happened for the beneficial reasons and not the ones I used to think of before
- You are not to blame, today is a new moment
What are you passionate about now?
- Sharing my story with other people so that they can benefit from knowing that someone else has gone through the same experiences or similar
- And my motto is, “What’s experience, if it’s not shared”
- Yes, I experienced it but to share the flip side of it is phenomenal
- What does the future hold for you?
- Getting my book written and done
- Finishing my qualification so that I have a foundation and can help others
- Diploma in counselling which I will be finished in May
Five Fast Fun Fearless Facts about Ria Nicholls
- Who inspires you? Inspiring people e.g. Louise Hay, Wayne Dwyer, Byron Katie and those who keep lifting themselves up to the next levels
- Favourite thing to do each day? Help people
- What's something that still scares you? Public Speaking
- Favourite technique or app or book? Meditation – either guided or even simply coming back to my breath
- If you could wave a magic wand and fix one thing in the world right now, what would it be and why? I would bring love to the whole universe and make sure everyone had that connection of love because that’s what I think the missing key is in the universe
What is something in your future plan that scares you
- Public speaking!
- I have done two speeches to two small groups of women but I have been given this loud, clear voice so I want to use it to its potential
- Get my story out and share ways to help other people that way
If you could turn back time what’s the one piece of advice you wish you could give your fourteen-year-old self?
- To look at myself first and to love myself
- Make myself my first priority
- Then everything else will fall into line
Where can people reach out to you? www.evolvingdragonfly.com
Facebook – Ria Nicholls
A Gift for Listeners
Download Tegan’s book – Facing Fears – finding the courage to reveal the real you. Read her confronting story of overcoming years of abuse and use the practical exercises in each chapter to overcome your own fears.