We all have an innate desire to be loved. It’s one of the six core human needs according to Maslow. If you say that you don’t, no matter how tough you might think you are, everybody needs love and you’ll be denying yourself the joy and benefits that love can bring.
In my experience, there are four different types of love. There’s romantic love, which is what most people think of when we say the word love. There’s familial love, and there’s platonic friendship love. But none of these will ever feel like they are enough unless you have the fourth one, which is self-love.
You know the old saying, “No one can love you until you love yourself?” Well, it’s true! Learning the art of self-love increases your self-respect, builds self-confidence, and gives you the self-awareness to understand, recognise, acknowledge and accept the other three types of love.
I get it. Past rejection and hurt can leave us feeling disillusioned when it comes to love but if our cup is full of self-love then those painful experiences become past memories. When you have enough self-love you won’t put all the blame onto yourself and you’ll move on knowing there is no one to blame, it just wasn’t right.
Still need convincing of how important self-love is? Here are seven self-love benefits:
1. Self-Love honours your needs
Instead of coming from a place of ‘less than’ where you are led by shame, guilt or fear, when you give yourself the gift of self-love you will be empowered to make decisions that align with your core values. You will choose to live a more authentic life where you are no longer driven by what others want you to do. Instead you will acknowledge your needs as being just as important as others. Making decisions that honour your life dreams and goals.
2. Gives you strength to set boundaries
When you love and honour yourself you start to become more confident, which, in turn gives you the strength to be more assertive. You’ll have the courage to say no when someone asks you to do something that isn’t in alignment with where you are going. You’ll recognise time wasters and energy drainers and be able to set clear boundaries and stick to them, guilt free.
3. What others think won’t matter
To truly love yourself you need to come to terms with past mistakes you may have made. This inner peace and true self-acceptance makes you a less defensive person. You no longer have a need to compare yourself to others. Consequently, you no longer worry about what others think when it comes to living your life on your terms.
4. Become a better decision maker
Self-doubt is what stops us from making confident decisions. Loving yourself gives you an inner awareness of what you can handle which in turn makes it easier to make decisions. You are no longer afraid of making choices that risk harming you because you know what you are capable of. You are no longer afraid to cut things from your life that don’t honour who you are or where you are going.
5. You’ll enjoy your own company
The fear of loneliness can make people keep themselves so busy they never have a moment to themselves. They fill their schedules with things they don’t necessarily love doing just to fill that void of potential being alone with their own thoughts. Self-love brings a level of comfort and enjoyment with being in your own company. Instead you’ll choose to fill your time with things you actually love to do because you’ve made peace with who you are.
6. No more negative thoughts
Without self-respect and self-admiration your Fear Monkey™ has an open opportunity to control you by filling your head with negative thoughts. This keeps you small, which in turn enables your Fear Monkey™ to keep you ‘safe’. When you learn how to truly love, respect and admire yourself you’ll know who you are and those negative things she whispers into your ear will be like “water off a ducks back”. You wont give them any energy and they will just drift away, becoming less and less.
7. Self-love breeds true happiness
You’ll no longer be searching for happiness in outside relationships. When you give yourself the gift of self-love you will naturally feel happier, more peaceful, and you’ll find joy in every-day life. You’ll come to realise that happiness is something you can choose to have and you are responsible for creating it within. No one else can make you happy except yourself and you have everything you need to be happy all wrapped up inside you if you already.
Learning the art of self-love has been one of the most powerful changes I’ve personally made in my life. It has had a ripple effect throughout all aspects of my life and I know that it can for you too. If you would like to give yourself the gift of self-love benefits then join me in the 30 Days of Self-Love Program here.